SELAH Jubilee Lady Writes 4 Shalom

Building a Case For My Choice For God

One of the elements of a life of Faith is compassion. Our God has compassion toward us, and His only caveat in that is that we must show compassion toward others. However, as anyone who has pursued that actively has discovered, that can be a sticky, unstable, and confusing business! Oy gevault!

Because sometimes, you see, compassion or love doesn't always mean giving someone what they want, or think they need. Enabling drug abuse, for example, by giving them money to spend on their habit, is writing someone's death certificate! It is NOT helping them, ultimately. Nor should one buy cigarettes for a COPD patient. Right? You get the idea. It is just not helpful to enable anyone's fleshly weaknesses. The Word of God says that TRUTH is what sets us free, so in order to really help someone we must bring them, as gently and lovingly as possible, to the TRUTH of their situation. And then help them find real solutions to overcome the issues which brought them here!

So, one of the conversations I have with people who have sought out my help, but who are still making all of their decisions by the dictates of the flesh (either because their spirit-person hasn't been enlivened by Salvation in Yeshua/Jesus, or they have only allowed Him to be “Savior” but NOT LORD...), but as I say, the conversation with them eventually goes something like this,

“This pattern of destruction keeps cycling over your life. I believe that is because you have chosen to live, to stay, in the devil's playground, making you his cat-toy. Occasionally God's grace rescues you, because you have some of His people praying for you (you're welcome!), but your choices keep you a sitting duck for the enemy to devour. You need to acknowledge God's Love for you, and cooperate with HIS plan to redeem and really save you!”

To which they usually counter with, “Well, I ain't noticed that your life is a cake-walk sister!” Or something like that. Which is actually intended to accomplish a couple of things. It is, usually, first, an effort to debunk me – at least in their own minds, so that they don't have to listen to the Truth I am sharing. BUT, I take it as an opportunity to be accountable to the Truth I am preaching. Because if WE are not willing to step up to it we should NOT be preaching it! So I answer them honestly as possible.

“True! You're paying attention! The Word does say that it “rains on the just and the unjust”. In other words, me following God doesn't exempt me from the enemy's attempts at ruining my life! He is an equal opportunity destroyer! BUT the big difference is this – when the enemy comes at me, which he will, I have a GOD to get behind, who will come out to fight for me. The progress may be slower than some would like, or even acknowledge, but, if you have really been paying attention, then you will have noticed that I overcome every attack eventually! Some faster than others. I think that may be because my Faith sort of fluctuates at times. I mean that I have let stuff beat me down, got weary in seeking God, and let the enemy have a few rounds! But I am trying, working, devoting myself daily, to get to a level of relationship in God where that never happens again. But you can never get there if you don't begin the journey! So....what do you have to say to that?”

At that point they either swear curses at me, and then get as far away from me as they can, so they can continue their cycles of destruction and flopping their actual responsibilities off on the non-discerningly compassionate ones... OR - they will make a decision to come to Jesus, and get all the way in! But either way works for me. Because I don't have time to play games. If you don't want actual help don't dial this number! Lol

That is what was “on my mind” today. Thanks for asking Facebook. . . Shalom Haverim!

This is something people say to each other, when they perceive someone is praying out of the ordinary. When people are reaching higher than most are willing to. When disappointment might be a thing. Most people are basically scared to death of the life of Faith. We love to TALK about it! But LIVING it is another matter!

However, the KJ Version of the scripture, which comes to mind every time someone says that to me – is found in Philippians 4:6. In the KJV it says, “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.”

I know that most other translations say “Be anxious for nothing”. Careful, Anxious - whatever. “Careful”, when used in the admonition mentioned above however, “be careful what you pray for”, is usually followed by, “you just might get it!” Which usually means that, either we don't always know what we need, so if we ask and get it, it might be more of a pain than a blessing! OR, they feel GOD doesn't know which prayers to answer, or how; or worse - that He some great smart-alec, just waiting to rub our ignorance in our faces. Sometimes it does seem that way, until we get to know Him. His character is not vindictive, except toward His enemies. He doesn't do that with His children though. He is infinitely caring, attentive and knows, more than we do, what it is that we need most, at any given time!

Yeshua made a similar cautionary statement - to those who seemed to be lining up to follow Him. But He said it a bit differently. He said,

“For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether or not he have wherewith to complete it? Lest haply, when he has laid a foundation, and is not able to finish, all that behold his effort begin to mock him, saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish. Or what king, as he goes to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and take counsel whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him that comes against him with twenty thousand? Or else, if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends an ambassador, and asks for conditions of peace. So therefore whosoever he be of you that renounces not all that he has, he cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14: 28-33 ASV)

He was obviously saying, “Before you sign on, be sure you are ALL IN. KNOW what you will be giving up to follow, and be sure you are okay with that!”

When it comes to praying for things though, like deliverance from some difficulty. But in any perceived needs, we should pray in a surrendered way – as in -

“This is what I think I need, Father God, but what do YOU think?” We should never demand things from God! He is not our servant, we are supposed to be HIS!

Recently, earlier this year in fact, there was such a situation, in my life, wherein I “got what I prayed for”! This morning The Holy Spirit continues to shed light on it for me.

For the last couple of years things at home had gotten more and more intolerable between the hubs and I. He was FINALLY discovering some piles of well-hidden, protected, flesh that had NEVER been dealt with by leadership, or himself. Flesh which had, btw, been stinking up MY world for the last, almost four, decades! And I was dealing with the bitterness of the fact that he was just now getting around to that mess! Just now having his “prodigal son” moment – while treating me like I was the prodigal the whole way! That business, along with the shock of finding out some things that he had hidden REALLY well. Oy gevault. It was the proverbial last straw on this already loaded, very weary, “camel” - beast of BURDEN extraordinaire!

There had been a significant betrayal – besides the obvious ones - which happened all the time. Situation after situation in which he took leadership's word over mine, or even that of our children. Those kinds of “less significant”, but no less humiliating, betrayals happened entirely too often, so I was already pretty “flat” from the many “buses” he had thrown me under to preserve his own white-washed image! And the anger of those, as yet unresolved, repeated, betrayals was sort of piling up, and heating up, like a volcano about to erupt!

So I was praying for deliverance from this situation, a LOT. First I was praying that prayer in the scripture; “Lord, I believe!!! Help my unbelief!” (Because the ONLY reason I was still here was - is - because I KNOW - beyond ANY shadow of any doubt – what God's will for this marriage IS. HE gave me a vision at the beginning of how this is SUPPOSED to be going! Now, IF only a certain butthead would only remove his head from his butt and PAY ATTENTION!!!! I would add, this IS finally happening NOW, since I left and everything, but wasn't happening then. Not in a way that was helping me heal.).

But then, as The Holy Spirit got my attention back on HIM - I began to realize that I couldn't accomplish God's will by myself, or even through my prayers! It began to dawn on me that GENE had to WANT this as badly as God and I did! Because God was NOT going to over ride anyone's free will!

And, that realization, plus the aforementioned decades of deferred hopes on this issue, began to take a toll on me. I began to “be weary in well doing”. So my prayer changed to something more like a “Marcel Ledbetter” prayer, “Just shoot up here amongst us and give ONE of us some RELIEF!”

(Sorry, some of you won't be old enough to track that reference. It's an old story told by a comedian, in which his cousin “Marcel” had chased what he thought was a coon up a tree, but it turned out to be a bobcat! Lol Anywhooo... an appropriate analogy for marriage if I ever heard one!)

Finally, with the help of The Spirit I was able to surrender my marriage to GOD – whose property it was anyway - lock, stock and barrel – and take my hands, and heart off of it entirely.

But then, in putting it down, I realized that I REALLY needed a break from the situation. Because, somehow, just sitting – waiting some more - while seeing my hopes deferred day after day, was wearing me thin (because, as I have alluded to, this man has had some significant pride and stubbornness issues). So I began to beseech God for a break! I said to Him, “Even Elijah had a dang cave so he could get some rest!!!!!”

Apparently, Father God agreed that this was a great idea. Because, only a few months after praying that, I found myself neck-deep in making plans to DRIVE to OREGON, in a rental car, to help a young lady out there! She was recovering from another fall off the addiction wagon. She wanted so badly to live a Godly life, but had NO ONE to turn to spiritually!

She and I had gotten to know each other on Facebook, and I had been mentoring her as well as possible from this distance. But it became clear that more accountability was needed, and some intense deliverance ministry, if she was going to be able to get over this wall in her life! So my “break” was being thrown head first into a deep pool of spiritual needs, in which I, just learning to “swim”! And in which I was to be the main “life-guard”! Well, alrighty then!

As if THAT weren't Faith stretching enough - this venture would require me to use my portion of our combined income, which would require some faith on both our parts – financially speaking especially. My pittance would pay my rent and leave me a whopping $100 to live on for the month! And his two thirds would pay the bills here, and leave him maybe that much for food, gas, etc. But you know, when God says go ….

I have always believed, and seen, that “where He guides He provides”. Also I kept hearing - “Go and I will show you”. So that is what I did. And He kept His word as always! But back to the original point – of “being careful what one prays for” . . .

When I got there. To a bit of temporary disgruntlement, I found that the room I was to live in, was more like a walk in closet - and it was in a corner of the basement! Immediately I thought to myself, “Well sister, ya DID ask for a cave!” Lol. The only difference in MY “Cave” and Elijah's turned out to be that my cave had internet, and instead of birds bringing me food, it was Amazon Fresh! But the results were very similar!

I went in to this God selected “Cave”, sort of running for my life, from past issues and the damage of those relationships, and came out of there with a sense of Anointing to finish the work God has appointed me to do! Part of which was seeing that young lady delivered, and some other people in the “Clean and Sober” house helped as well, to at least have a vision and a hope to begin their path to wholeness! So. Mission accomplished. Prayer answered. The “Cave” was a great idea after all.

Tomorrow I will share part two of this journey to wholeness.

Shabbat Shalom Haverim!

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal which is taking place to test you [that is, to test the quality of your faith], as though something strange or unusual were happening to you.”

"As though something strange or unusual were happening to you ..." 

This scripture indicates that  fiery trials are just part for the course in the life of a Yeshua pursuant believer, that this is our "new normal"... And yet, we are told to find His JOY in the sufferings! I am learning a whole new level of this concept in this season! 

As I attempted sleep last night, between fighting my own symptoms, (we've contracted what I believe to be round two of "the virus"); and listening to Gene struggle, I did manage to drift off into a season of restful sleep! But also there came some wonderful spiritual revelation on the current struggles we are in right now. The Spirit of God clearly brought comfort to my aching heart (and everything else) by assuring me that this illness, though meant for evil by the enemy was being used to strengthen us in all ways possible! Beginning with our immune systems!

As I dreamed The Spirit was talking to me about how He was preparing all who would trust Him to overcome this second round of attack, so that we will be invincible going out into the field for the harvest. He wants us to endure and conquer, so that He can get the glory, and we can walk in a new level of Faith. He was showing my newly renovated room, and talking of what will come forth from here, the books, art, and blogs, which will strengthen His Body, and bless our finances, so that we are free to travel where ever HE deems fit to send us! It was a sweet reprieve from the otherwise tormented night we seemed to be having! I was so thankful, and awakened from it encouraged, uplifted and revived.

This renovation project (de-popcorning the ceilings, and getting this old carpet gone) has proven to be even more challenging than I bargained for. It involves a downsizing that has been needed for decades! The only real issue being that I am too sentimental. Especially when it comes to the children! I cling to everything they ever touched! It's pathetic and ridiculous, I know! But the struggle is real.

I think that may be because I perceive that I failed at so much of what I set out to do. I think it was partly because I had suppressed memories that the poor kids triggered just by existing! It wasn't their fault! It wasn't mine! But regardless of the blame, I wasn't always present! I was constantly fighting to keep painful past shadows suppressed and out of consciousness. So I came across distant, self-absorbed, uncaring, and angry – really angry. And though my anger was not directed at them, they are the ones it came out on! So a level of trauma occurred, which breaks my heart, because I was SO determined that they would not be traumatized as I was, and yet, my trauma managed to leak out on them anyway. So frustrating! But it is a known fact that people who suppress painful incidences do tend to cling to things for their memories. All memories are attached to things. So things are constantly triggering memories, the good, the bad and the ugly! But we are hesitant to let go of things lest our entire past evaporate before our eyes. 

I was constantly struggling to NOT make my kids' childhood into the nightmare that mine was. I was constantly struggling to let them BE CHILDREN, not micro-adults. Yet I wanted them to be responsible, thinking, adults when the time came. I just wasn't in any hurry for that time to come! I was constantly struggling to improve upon the only model I had been given. I spent a lot of time seeking help, listening to endless cassette tapes, reading mountains of books. But it wasn't until I finally found some pastors actually operating an anointing based deliverance ministry that I found any real help with the issues. And by that time the kids were grown, fleeing home as quickly as they could, and had already judged me, and set me in the tiny place in their lives that they felt I deserved. Which, I can tell you, hasn't been much! 

But then, I don't pursue them a lot either. Mostly because of a cowardly fear of more rejection. The pain is prolific! Plus, I want to respect the distance from me, which they seem to need. I understand that they have to work through their trauma on their own terms.

So that is why seeing all their stuff is so difficult, and parting with it even more so. When I am going through all the stuff of all the years, it is like being on the Galilee when she is not in a friendly mood!!!! Everything is a storm of emotions. The gift I made them, that they loved then, but which was clearly subpar. The cards they wrote me as little guys, contrasted with the way they feel about me now (which most of them don't know I know, they really try not to hurt me. They know the whys of who I was then, but that doesn't negate their pain and experience! However, not much gets by me. I wish it did.)

But, the toys they played with, the clothes they wore, the art they did . . . all of these things just scream at me … that I wanted to do more, BE more, have more....

And then that is mixed with the GOOD memories that I have, even if they don't, because, I remember lots and lots of pretty good days – at the library, the theater, the parks, the horse farm – taking them to stuff they wanted to be part of. The many days we spent, with me just reading books to them - or watching fun, educational movies we got from the Library. It could have definitely been worse.

I know. All grown up kids sort of go through a “woe is me” phase, and being that mine was EPIC, it certainly could have overshadowed the good that was. I do hope though, that eventually, as I have been able to do, they will be able to separate the good that I was from the bad that I was, and also give credit for the work I've done to make it better.

But in the meantime, I am just having to grasp hold of God, The God of All Comforts, with all that I have left! I have to at least pack up this stuff and store in away, where it doesn't need to be addressed every little bit. I need less to take care of, be distracted by, clean around! I need to minimize my life again. To get it back to Gene and I, and what we will need for this next season.

Empty nesting has been quite the challenge for me. Part of that is because our marriage also took hits over the last decades, and there was just this gaping void when the children left! Whether I did anything right or not, they were my focus for so long! Over 30+ years of our 38 year long marriage! So now we are recovering our marriage (which will involve some resurrection in some areas, things DIED). And we are recalibrating our lives. Renovating our home. And working on getting our work together, so that God can indeed “Bless the work of our hands”.

All of this is just part of the moving on process. Forgiving ourselves, each other, and the kids, where they may have struck out in their pain. This is the cleansing and readjusting necessary to prepare for this next, and last, season of our lives. We must seek God, for whatever the enemy has meant for evil, God can and will use for our good if we simply trust Him to do so! He is that Good and that faithful!

Despite the obvious struggles I am encountering in this process, I am also filled with a great sense of new hope! I am honestly looking forward to this new season ahead. I want to make it count as much as possible. Like Moses, my own way of dealing with life may have excluded me from certain “promised lands”. Who can say? But this I know, I am beloved of God, kept by His Spirit, and led by His hand. I will make it in to THE PROMISED LAND, His Awesome Presence, in His timing. So with that in mind, I press on! I press on toward order, toward getting rid of all those things which “lie behind”, and pressing on ... “toward the mark of the high calling of God in The Anointed Yeshua”! Because, ultimately, that is the goal of my life and the reason for my existence.

Selah & Shalom Haverim

Coming Down Off The Mountain

This past weekend we attended a ministry conference in Nashville Tennessee, at the Music City Sheraton. It was hosted by the leadership of Regeneration Nashville. Kent and Candy Christmas (yes, those are their real names, you can't make this stuff up. And it gets better, they have a son named Nicholas! Lol Anywhoooo....) despite their humorous combination of names, they are some of the sweetest, most real, most Yeshua-like leadership I have ever been privileged to observe. I actually met her in person, I've yet to shake his hand. It had to be somewhat overwhelming hosting a conference of this magnitude. But just watching him in his dealings with folks was awe-inspiring.

We went seeking for confirmation of some things we've been sensing about a move to that area, and hoping for some real connections with real people, and, last but not least, to get a glimpse of the Sunday Service, to see if, perhaps, that pulling we keep feeling for the Nashville area does involve these folk? Etc.

We made more real connections with real remnant than ever in our lives – though many of them were not from there! God is truly moving all over the U.S., drawing in folks from every state, every walk of life, every economic status. But, I had to observe that, like us, He is reaching DOWN to the formerly poor, religiously oppressed, hidden remnant to pull us UP to our destiny in Him. And there are a lot more of "us" than the other category - those walking fully in the authority and blessing of their callings! I am not sure what that process will look like, there are a lot of paradigms, a.k.a., “dross”, which will need to be burned out of this "gold" before it is pure enough for the Master's use!

The whole weekend felt surreal. Like walking in a dream of sorts. The physical blessings were just over the top. Because of my recent travels I had stacked up a fair number of “Hotel Bonus Points”, so we were immediately upgraded, for the same money, from a single king bed room to a King Suite, with a dining table, desk and sofa! And a nice private balcony.

I had the same thing happen on the way out west. Only that “upgrade” happened only because they had given my room away, and that one was the only one left! Lol Still. I am could get used to this new bit of luxury!

I find though, that the tendency is to fight getting used to it!? Because, “It will be too disappointing when or if it doesn't happen”? Or something ridiculous like that, which is annoyingly playing in the background of my hard drive.

But The Word does say that we need to know how to be abased and how to abound! Being abased is a choice we sometimes make, in reaching to those who are poor, devastated or abandoned. It isn't thrust upon us against our wills.

It may indeed seem like it was. I was born into it! And have gradually tootled my way to the surface, with the guidance of Holy Spirit, to take in a world of beauty and abundance I never thought possible – to me. We are to give up our lives to serve Him! We are to bless His Name in poverty, sickness, wealth or health! We are to embrace His suffering in the earth, not fear or dread persecution. 

I have lived most of my life feeling like the adopted “red-headed-step-child” whose father owns the candy store, but never feeling that I had the right of entrance! I am, these days, feeling a boldness to run into that store and climb upon Daddy's lap, and ask for anything I see! It is a great feeling.

This conference, in so many ways, reinforced that feeling of being someone I've never been able to be, of being seen as who I have become, with The Spirit's help, the "me" that I've come to see myself to be. Here, in this geographical, familiar, location, it is too easy to fall back into the paradigms and patterns of the “old me”.

That is partly because many of the people around here (with the exception of a few faithful neighbors, who've paid attention) seem to want to hold me to that old self! I think that may be because it makes it easier to dismiss the prophetic truth I carry. So, I think God is moving us away, in order to break the chains of this familiar environment, against which we must struggle every day to BE who HE is calling us to be NOW.

The conference, and the Sunday service, were inspiring, uplifting, healing, in so many ways! But then, as we literally came down off the mountain, headed home, as soon as we crossed the state line into good old NC I was hit with a sudden and violent attack of congestion and misery! But those are mere facts. I keep declaring, in that misery, That I AM HEALED BY THE STRIPES OF MY SAVIOR! Yeshua IS LORD, This foul mess is NOT lord!

So I have been struggling up each day to do what I can, because I will not succumb! And I do believe that His healing is for me! That I am not left out of His benefits! Every drop of blood was shed for me as well as the rest of mankind! I am not an orphan!

I am a bummer lamb. My mother rejected me, she admitted to trying to miscarry me! But my Lord picked me up, lifted up my head, and carried me next to His chest, where I could feel the beat of His heart. And now I am a strong sheep, ready to go out and share His love with others. This conference, I believe, was simply an arrow pointing to the area where He wants us walking in that love.  ;)

I am looking forward to getting this property in order. This blessing of God, that we now own, completely paid for, that we haven't been the best stewards of! We are working to redeem it above its original beauty. So that the children can enjoy it as we travel. And - also - so that we'll have someplace to crash as we come and go from here.

I am looking forward to increase, blessing, renewed strength, youth, vision and anything else I may need to accomplish His will and destiny for my life.

This is the time when the wealth of the wicked, which has been laid up for the righteous, is released. Because, finally, there are enough truly righteous to be trusted to use it for the kingdom, instead of just setting themselves up like royalty! (I mean, really, who needs gold-plated bathtubs? Just sayin') The leadership of this last generation, my generation, got more right than the one before them, who had fallen prey to the abundance that followed the victory of WWII, though it came at a great price. The American Dream overcame the vision of The Kingdom! Yet we have dropped the ball on so many things! We must now allow The Spirit of God to restore all that WE allowed the locusts to eat. 

Not only did the brave souls that won that victory, in WWII, give the ultimate sacrifice, some of whom did not return home! But – also - as we as a nation transitioned from a farming nation to an industrial nation - it took both parents out of the home. The result of which was that family has been fragmented, pretty much laid to dust. Most kids of that era grew up self-sufficient, but feeling unloved and abandoned. Religious church attendance on Sunday kept the nation in that place of “having a form of godliness”, which made them feel okay about themselves – yet “denying the power thereof” - which is the cure to all our ills! And so our ills have never been properly addressed! 

This is the time that we are to get restored to us all the enemy has stolen, that “the locusts have eaten”. Be those “locusts” social progress, religious foolishness, spiritual deception or just plain fleshly lusts and generations of wrong paradigms. Locusts of human hubris, which has created systems in an attempt to use God's goodness while circumventing His authority and Lordship.

We have attempted to have His Blessing without a real relationship with Him. We have sought to try to achieve righteousness in our strength – thus voiding the supreme sacrifice of The Lamb of God!

OR, worse, we've just discarded any form of righteousness as out-moded and unnecessary! We've ignored history. We've been deceived, because it was easier than being informed! We've followed the path of ease, like sheep to the slaughter, and then we are astonished when the slaughter begins! As it always has!

It is time that God's people gave up the cheap, socially warped, “politically correct”, version of “being woke”, and became actually fully awakened to the Truth! We must seek TRUTH in HIS WORD! It does not exist elsewhere! We must awaken to the season we are in, and what His Spirit is doing now in His people!

If we hope to spiritually survive this next season – and please understand that physical-temporary survival in this world is never guaranteed – we can only count on the TRUTH that God will not let us leave this planet until He is done with our service here! And when we do leave this planet that is when LIFE really begins!!!

This is NOT about US! His people must “not love their lives...” but must be all in, “even unto death”, down here. But we can live in peace, knowing that death can have no hold on us! We will simply transcend this realm into the eternal, where He Is. Which is, or should be, our goal anyway!

People talk about the possibility of His people being martyred, and they are, right now, in Afganistan, and around the world! But my attitude toward personally facing that situation is - “go on, throw Br'er Rabbit in the briar patch!” Because, the Truth is that when you release me from this body I am finally free! I am going to my Yeshua! What is to dread about that?!

I would only be sad for the emotional distress it might cause my loved ones. But all who know me should know by now where I am going. And if I am chosen for such an honor, to give my life for HIM, who gave His life for me, then go out and party! Honestly, it just doesn't get any better than that! I will be dancing in the streets of heaven! Please do not waste time mourning me! You will see me again! Possibly sooner than you think!

But here's the deal. This life is training. Boot camp. It was never meant to be some big day camp, with spa's and entertainment. We should be more concentrated on using the weapons of our warfare, than booking our next cruise! Not that there is anything wrong with enjoying the things this world has to offer on a level! But when that is our entire focus that is out of balance!

God is a God of blessing! He is not some fun-sucking, skin-flint! We can never out give Him! When we lay down our lives, on a daily basis, by choosing to seek and spend time with HIM, instead of our own fleshly interests – when we devote ourselves to His Word so that we can know Him better, and be more like Him – when we make choices that could lead to death here, as in persecution or martyrdom, then we have set ourselves up to reap LIFE everlasting, and to have crowns to lay at His feet when we get there. We will have achieved the goal of every real disciple of Yeshua, which is to hear the words of His Father, “Well done, good and faithful servant, enter into the JOY of YeHoVaH”!

Personally, that has been my goal the whole way through. Sure, I get distracted. I get sidetracked by the pressures and business of this temporal life. I get weighted down with “stuff”, physically and emotionally, and have to take time, every so often, to declutter, unload and recalibrate my life, refocus my vision, and re-fire the desire to serve Him with undivided fervor!

So, to close up this session, I am sitting in a newly floored, repainted bedroom, free of the old stuff, popcorn ceiling, carpet, etc.... with new blinds that match the paint perfectly, basking in those physical blessings. But also, daily, engaged in the process of parring down the “stuff”, so that we can travel light, and our children aren't burdened with our mess! God IS GOOD! And His love endures forever!

Wow. His presence is thick right now. Going to go soak in Him!

Shalom Haverim!

THE PRODIGAL; An Ancient Parable for a Modern Dilemma

(Asking the question: “Are we Living in God's Grace and Reality, or in our own Prideful Denial?”)

Okay. So, bear with me here. I know that familiar passages of scripture make some folks drift off into a lethargic fog of, “oh no, here it comes”. We're so used to being “preached at” that we've sort of tuned out, and have, therefore, largely, missed the point of the Truths that Yeshua was trying to clear up for us! This is unfortunate, as there is SO much wisdom that we so badly need encapsulated in those teachings!

So I ask you to capture your wandering mind, make it sit down, read this blog, as lengthy as is it, and take the time to really read and consider the extreme contrast between the following two passages of Scripture. Also, please keep in mind, when reading the parable of the Prodigal Son, that Yeshua was VERY aware of the first portion of Scripture from the illustrious Torah/Law.

The first portion is from Deuteronomy 21: 18-23, detailing the chastisement of a Rebellious Son, and the outlining the severe consequences of rebellion according to The Torah/Law, which Moses received on Sinai.

“If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, that will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and, though they chasten him, will not hearken unto them; then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; and they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him to death with stones: so shalt thou put away the evil from the midst of thee; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

And if a man have committed a sin worthy of death, and he be put to death, and thou hang him on a tree; his body shall not remain all night upon the tree, but thou shalt surely bury him the same day; for he that is hanged is accursed of God; that thou defile not thy land which Jehovah thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.”

Wowsers! Sheesh! God was not playing! He wanted a HOLY nation following Him. He did NOT want His name denigrated by flesh and foolishness! He had delivered Israel, had freed them from the bondage to a cruel, relentless Pharoah, from slavery and humiliation – bondage which THEY had caused by their rebellion, by the way (Nationally speaking, centuries earlier)! He had gone to some extraordinary means to give them another chance to be a nation whichwould reflect His LOVE to this planet ! (Any of this sound familiar?) So, He was not about to have any unrestrained flesh running rampant! His attitude was “Nip it in the bud!”.

We have forgotten, though, that He has also freed us from our own personal “Egyptian Bondage”, where we were held captive. From birth our flesh is manipulated by it's lower nature, as well as bludgeoned by the enemy of our souls, into trying to build a micro-kingdom to ourselves without God! So that he, the enemy, Ha Satan, can usurp our loyalty, and another motivation of his is that God would be mocked and robbed of His Creation. He wants God's power! And since he can't overpower GOD, he robs Him through His premium Creative effort – humans!

Individually, and as a nation of so-called “believers”, we are “HERE” - exactly where the original people of God were - on the mall-map of life. God is moving by His Spirit to FREE us! AGAIN. So that we can be His People, and He can be our God. And the enemy thinks he has us trapped. AGAIN. But we all know what happened to the pharoah in the first story.

However, we forget, I think, that “Freedom” is NOT the “right to do what we WANT”, or even what we mistakenly think we want! Our precious Liberty was not fought for, at so great a price, so that we can now “be” whatever we deem doable, or cater to the desires of the despicably stupid, evil-bent , fallen nature, most often referred to as “the flesh”, but it is the “Right and Power to do as we SHOULD” - meaning those thoughts, words and actions which are most beneficial for all involved. God was after that form of freedom then, and He has not changed His mind on that!

Paul writing to the followers of Yeshua at Galatia, reminds us of why Yeshua came, and what His being sacrificed on the cross was meant to achieve - (Galatians 3:13-14 reminds us that) “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us; for it is written, Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree: that upon the Gentiles might come the blessing of Abraham in Christ Jesus; that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith.”

The POINT of which is that we can not keep The Law in our own efforts, so HE came to enable us to do so! The wilderness wanderers proved that in spades!!! Hence the heavy burden of Torah that was heaped upon them, and the incessant sacrifices, made daily, by the priesthood of that time! But Yeshua's intention was not to free us FROM The Law, but to free us IN IT! He is the embodiment of His Father's WILL, which The Law was sent to achieve. A Holy people unto Himself! But the human flesh was too frail, too infected with evil. The Law could not purge it thoroughly enough! The blood of animals was not enough! But His blood WAS ENOUGH, and HIS divine sacrifice on our behalf DID accomplish what GOD intended – and has made keeping that Law not only doable, but practically effortless – if we allow His Nature to be formed in us by His Spirit!

Yeshua Himself clarified things for us a bit in His famous parables. He was always story telling. It was His way of putting things into a familiar format that people could understand, to make an eternal point, that wasn't so familiar. It was His way of clearing up the misunderstanding caused by spiritual leadership who weren't in touch with the heart of a loving Creator, as He was.

As in this one, The Parable of the Prodigal Son from Luke 15 (11-24) Please contrast THIS response of the Father of a rebellions to the one required in the above Scripture!

Yeshua was teaching His followers, “And he said, 'A certain man had two sons: and the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of the inheritance that falls to me. And he divided unto them his living. And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together and took his journey into a far country; and there he wasted his substance with riotous living.

And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that country; and he began to be in want. And he went and joined himself to one of the citizens of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him.

But when he came to himself he said, How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight: I am no more worthy to be called your son: make me as one of thy hired servants. And he arose, and came to his father.

But while he was yet afar off, his father saw him, and was moved with compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.

And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight: I am no more worthy to be called thy son. But the father said to his servants, Bring forth quickly the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: and bring the fatted calf, and kill it, and let us eat, and make merry: for this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.' ”

Wow. Quite the contrast! Paul writing to the followers of Yeshua at Galatia reminds us that this contrast is exactly why Yeshua came, and that His being sacrificed on the cross was meant to achieve this shift for US - (Galatians 3:13-14 reminds us that) “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us; for it is written, Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree: that upon the Gentiles might come the blessing of Abraham in Christ Jesus; that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith.”

So, you see, God's Law has not just been “set aside” as irrelevant. It being fulfilled does not mean that it just disappears! That could never be! His standards have not changed! His requirement of HOLINESS has not been removed! It has been fulfilled IN YESHUA. And, therefore, is now POSSIBLE for US to KEEP! With HIS HELP! The help of His Spirit and Anointing! BECAUSE now we are able to receive HIS VERY NATURE and BE HOLY AS HE IS HOLY! If we choose to actually follow His lead!

So the question which we must ask – as we “come to ourselves” - is this - “Am I living in a Grace based REALITY about who I am, or a pride based, selective denial?” Because, we need to understand that Shame and Self-denigration; OR Prideful Self-exaltation; are NOT a part of God's program of self-realization! Simply ignoring our flesh, or even admitting the futility of it, will not fix our issue here! Nor will attempting to exalt ourselves above the knowledge of God, trying to override our Creator! That is a ridiculous concept! But all too common in the human history!

We must, however, be willing to acknowledge the foolishness of the fallen flesh, before we can move on to the bigger and better business of becoming more like our Creator! Of course! Denial is NOT a Fruit of The Spirit! But – on the other side of this issue - we must not get stuck there and dwell on it either! Wallowing in our failures until we despise ourselves so badly that we can't come near Him! We must let our failure, which is inevitable as we are being transformed, run us toward The Father, not away from Him!

The problem is that His image has been jaded by His earthly representatives. Many leaders choose to focus on the locked gates of the Law, more than on the Key that now gives us entry! Meaning that, most focus on the sin – and the consequences - more than they focus on the solutions of The Savior!!! I have personally been abused by spiritual leadership almost as much as I've been helped by them! Nobody's perfect! Yet. Except Yeshua! I get it! But more people need to be cooperating in the process by which we are perfected! Before getting into leadership! That would be great!

The whole point of "coming to ourselves", however, of finding self-realization, like the prodigal did, was to realize that WE CAN'T REALLY DO THIS WITHOUT HIM! Nor should we want to! The prodigal went “crawling back” to his father expecting to get mercy, but not willing to expect anything more than he deserved! The scriptures state that he had "come to himself", which meant that he finally realized how badly flawed his way of doing things was. He had come into a stark reality of what his flesh would get for him, and had wisely decided that this was not how he wanted to continue!

As he became aware of the startling realities of the results of going his own stubborn way, however, he didn't just wallow in his despair! He REPENTED. Which simply means that he decided to go in the other direction! To RETURN to The Father! So he simply turned away from his methods, and ways of doing things, and went back to His Father, for help. He humbled himself enough to admit, to acknowledge, to grasp, his reality. To then own, and take responsibility for, the mess that he had caused for himself. He became, suddenly, painfully, self-aware of the results of his own methods.

It broke him. But not in a bad way! The part that most people miss, is that it also brought him hope! Hope that maybe, if he could appeal to his father, that he was not “finished”, as it seemed. There was hope that his Father would take him back, if only as servant. He knew that even the servants were treated well at His Father's house. So back he went. But instead of the resistant tolerance he was expecting, he got a surprising, royal, reception!

I think, again, largely because of some significant misrepresentation, we have sold God way short. And have, without meaning to or knowing it, despised, ignored, or denied His mercy, time and again. We just don't expect mercy! We shrink away, expecting those rocks to start flying any minute!

But this issue is also largely because we stupidly keep trying to fix the flesh! It will never work! We say, "You can't fix stupid". But then, stupidly, we keep trying to fix it! “The flesh” - our “human nature, that earth-bound, humanoid way of being and doing - is irreparably broken, and terminally stupid! It is taking us each toward the grave, and the eternity in hell, beyond the grave, as fast as it can! It doesn't know anything else, and can't be trained out of its hell-bound tendencies! That is just not possible! Not happening! So then, what is the point of life? And where is any hope of achieving any good?! We all stand around scratching our heads!

Ah. But you see, that's the point of the Parables Yeshua taught. The point is that there is HOPE for US, when we come to a realization of the futility of our own ways – and become humble enough to RETURN to The Father! We must, at some point, come to see the utter futility of the flesh, and our own dysfunctional ways of doing and being, which are foredoomed to failure, being irreparably broken. And when we do, we must put that “old life” firmly down and make a different choice. CHOOSE HIS LIFE. The high life! In Yeshua The Anointed One!

The problem for most people is that we didn't realize that there's a choice! Most think that since we were just born this way we're just stuck with whatever is in, or not in, our gene-bank! Thankfully, mercifully, that is just not so! Our Heavenly Father has a whole other level of inheritance for us, a whole other way of living, that we can not perceive with our natural senses, and can not achieve with our natural effort. No matter how stubborn, dedicated or gifted we may be.

Where “the church” (or the system which has been known by that name) has failed is that it isn't getting Yeshua's message of compassion, hope and love out there! It hasn't made people aware of the choice that is there – waiting - before them! They aren't led back to The Father, or made aware of His infinite mercy! They are merely threatened by the consequences of their sin! Repentance has failed as a teaching, because in completed repentance one must not only “turn away from the sin”, but must have something to turn TO! If The Father is painted as some angry dude waiting to stone us we'd rather just get stoned on our own and be done with it!

We've gotten sort of a religious bait and switch! We're led to Salvation by being told that Yeshua has covered our debt, and we are free to serve God now, and not be bound to the law. But THEN, most of us are led into some form of religiosity which binds us to the exact same system of laws and restrictions that God's people were bound to in their wilderness! Keeping us limited to what was available before Yeshua came! And in constant fear of failure. Which of course leads to more failure!

However, having stated that obvious truth, may I point out that even that failed system is better than nothing, on a level! At least we have a hope of heaven, and some social boundaries that keep utter chaos at bay! I don't know about you, but for me, living on this planet of stupid-heads, this little bit of consolation just isn't going to cut it! It doesn't take us from the pig sty to the palace! I mean, of course, “Pie in the sky, in the sweet by and by” IS better than the expectation of the hell which most people live in – especially since that possibility would be extended to all eternity! But it is small consolation here! We were never meant to endure this life. We were meant to rock it! To do so, however, we must leave that system of dead religion behind and return to a Living God! We must RUN to our FATHER! We must revere His Torah, learn it, and live by it!

HOWEVER – what we've been seriously missing is that we can't DO THAT WITHOUT YESHUA and HIS SPIRIT which enables us with HIS ANOINTING! Let's face another reality here! If we COULD achieve all of that glorious obedience and freedom in the flesh, then Yeshua's sacrifice was both foolish and worthless! It was an extravagant offering poured out for nothing! We (most of the “church” going masses) have lived and acted like that, to our shame, but we need to stop doing that now.

Today is the Day of Salvation – YESHUA. Yeshua's very Name MEANS Salvation! HE IS OUR SALVATION. Yes from hell – as an eternal destination. But also from the minute to minute, agonizing hell, of failure and torment, that tries to engulf and inflame our lives here! The enemy is always trying to make God look like the liar, when we are clearly warned that he is the father of lies! Why we believe him, so often and so readily, is not only an insult to our faithful Heavenly Father, but a strong indication that we have seriously missed something!

We should be ecstatically Happy ever day!!!! We're in The Father's HOUSE! We're accepted IN The Beloved!!!! Adopted! Loved! We have access to all He IS! Instead of moping around wallowing in every perceived failure, kvetching about our lack of peace and blessing - every five minutes!!! It is time that we, like that other prodigal in the parable, came to our senses, realized our pitiful condition, and ran back to our Father with all haste! Every time our flesh separates us from HIS Joy, Love and PEACE!

Listen, if you think you've failed so badly that you just don't have the faith to live as a son, then at least have the sense to go live as His servant! He is so kind and loving to all who serve Him in any capacity! But I can tell you from the few times I've got it right, “going HOME to our Father”, is TOTALLY worth any effort! And, spoiler alert, He probably won't just let you slide in as a servant. There is a “favorite child's” mantle waiting for you.... so what are you waiting for? PRODIGALS GO HOME!

Selah …..

And …. as always, wishing you, 

Shalom, Haverim!