December 23 2009
3
23
/12
/December
/2009
20:43
It is difficult, if not entirely impossible to make it through the maze of parenting without garnering a few regrets. There are plenty of "how-to" books on the subject, as well as countless "experts" pushing their ideas of how it should be done, even an "owner's manual" (if you count the Bible) however, sorting out what is truth from what is someone's "good idea", and then assimilating all this information, into a useful form, is both frustrating and foreign. There are not enough good role models (and the ones who are good are busy!), not many classes,and very few examples of practical application, to guide us through the maze of unfamiliar territory. Every phase seems worse than the one before, each one somehow more mysteriously foreign in its elements and challenges.
The idea, of course, is to "work oneself out of a job", we are called upon to produce responsible, conscientious, Law-abiding Citizens! People who can think, who will serve God, who will live in righteousness. So the challenge is to constantly keep the balance between giving them some freedom, and enough responsibility; without making them grow up too fast, or having enough room to get themselves into trouble! Or in another way of putting it, to use a popular analogy, just enough "rope" to have some freedom without "hanging" themselves. In the end all we can do is give them our best and hope it was good enough. The Word does say that love covers a multitude of sin; (of course it is referring to Agape' Love, that is unconditional, firm and truth oriented, and not enabling of fleshly, destructive behaviors). I have found it a hard line to find, much less walk!
I have graduated two offspring from our home school, and a third is set to graduate this year! Life is racing along, two of the three have begun to form significant relationships with someone who could very well be "The One". All are trying to figure out where they fit into God's grand scheme of things. I see where I could have given them a bit more room, or where I gave too much, or where I gave an inch and they took a mile before I even knew what hit me! I see where my broken places have left them with scars. Not deep ones perhaps, but permanent, nonetheless. And those scars have a way of skewing the truth. So in the end, I have realized that I must do what I have done the whole, entire way, which is to Trust God!
After all, He is the One who had the bright idea of giving me kids in the first place! Against my better judgment, I might add. But I had to admit that if it comes down to it, He is the One who actually knows what He is doing! Add to that the fact that He had to go to a lot of trouble to accomplish it too! And then, I must remember, that He is the one who loves them (& me) more than I can even fathom. He is the One who knows how this is all supposed to come out!
My job, then, is simply to see to it that at every moment, in each situation, that I run to Him for His Grace, Wisdom, Faith or whatever I may need to do my best at stewarding these few sheep He has given me. To keep them from going over cliffs, from eating poisonous herbs or weeds, from drowning in the watering hole, etc. until they are released to His direct supervisory training! I am ever learning as I go. I am ever updating information and changing the way I do things with each consecutive child, (much to the dismay of the earlier "prototypes"!). As I heal, remember,repent, grow & change, things get better. Do I grieve because of the damage that I can not fix, that I could not even help causing? Oh, yes. At least, I am tempted to. But that still small voice always asks the same question. Did you do your best? And I have to answer that I honestly did! Though my "best" was deficient, it was still my best! And so a peace comes that HE is able to make up for, heal or compensate them for what I lacked! And suddenly the burden of parenting gives way to the joy of being able to enjoy who they are becoming. I can accept the responsibility that belongs to me without it being a crushing weight.
God is good. Someone very wise once said to me, "God knows how to raise His children", I guess one could extrapolate that to say that He also knows who to get for the job! Even my parents, as broken as they were, did not botch it totally! If God can redeem their parenting, (and He has!), then I am sure that He can and will redeem mine. It really will be okay IF we can just trust Him. IF. Will we? That is the question. I have found that it is hard to do, but not nearly as hard as the alternative. I will trust Him, even if that means work for me. It is the best work I will ever do. That, and stewarding His other flocks.
Selah!
The idea, of course, is to "work oneself out of a job", we are called upon to produce responsible, conscientious, Law-abiding Citizens! People who can think, who will serve God, who will live in righteousness. So the challenge is to constantly keep the balance between giving them some freedom, and enough responsibility; without making them grow up too fast, or having enough room to get themselves into trouble! Or in another way of putting it, to use a popular analogy, just enough "rope" to have some freedom without "hanging" themselves. In the end all we can do is give them our best and hope it was good enough. The Word does say that love covers a multitude of sin; (of course it is referring to Agape' Love, that is unconditional, firm and truth oriented, and not enabling of fleshly, destructive behaviors). I have found it a hard line to find, much less walk!
I have graduated two offspring from our home school, and a third is set to graduate this year! Life is racing along, two of the three have begun to form significant relationships with someone who could very well be "The One". All are trying to figure out where they fit into God's grand scheme of things. I see where I could have given them a bit more room, or where I gave too much, or where I gave an inch and they took a mile before I even knew what hit me! I see where my broken places have left them with scars. Not deep ones perhaps, but permanent, nonetheless. And those scars have a way of skewing the truth. So in the end, I have realized that I must do what I have done the whole, entire way, which is to Trust God!
After all, He is the One who had the bright idea of giving me kids in the first place! Against my better judgment, I might add. But I had to admit that if it comes down to it, He is the One who actually knows what He is doing! Add to that the fact that He had to go to a lot of trouble to accomplish it too! And then, I must remember, that He is the one who loves them (& me) more than I can even fathom. He is the One who knows how this is all supposed to come out!
My job, then, is simply to see to it that at every moment, in each situation, that I run to Him for His Grace, Wisdom, Faith or whatever I may need to do my best at stewarding these few sheep He has given me. To keep them from going over cliffs, from eating poisonous herbs or weeds, from drowning in the watering hole, etc. until they are released to His direct supervisory training! I am ever learning as I go. I am ever updating information and changing the way I do things with each consecutive child, (much to the dismay of the earlier "prototypes"!). As I heal, remember,repent, grow & change, things get better. Do I grieve because of the damage that I can not fix, that I could not even help causing? Oh, yes. At least, I am tempted to. But that still small voice always asks the same question. Did you do your best? And I have to answer that I honestly did! Though my "best" was deficient, it was still my best! And so a peace comes that HE is able to make up for, heal or compensate them for what I lacked! And suddenly the burden of parenting gives way to the joy of being able to enjoy who they are becoming. I can accept the responsibility that belongs to me without it being a crushing weight.
God is good. Someone very wise once said to me, "God knows how to raise His children", I guess one could extrapolate that to say that He also knows who to get for the job! Even my parents, as broken as they were, did not botch it totally! If God can redeem their parenting, (and He has!), then I am sure that He can and will redeem mine. It really will be okay IF we can just trust Him. IF. Will we? That is the question. I have found that it is hard to do, but not nearly as hard as the alternative. I will trust Him, even if that means work for me. It is the best work I will ever do. That, and stewarding His other flocks.
Selah!
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