The Path To (and the Purpose of) Recognizing the Presence of God

As I have developed the practice of spending time in God's presence there has been a progression, which I now see. Perhaps you know the saying, “hindsight is always 20/20”? Meaning of course that it is always easier to "see" where you've just been, than it is to know what lies ahead. But the progression I am speaking of is as follows: first, the concept is new, and you will feel a bit uncomfortable with it, even silly, perhaps, for trying to “spend time” with one whom you can not see, nor really even perceive. You know, at first “God” seems like a childhood imaginary friend. Yet, as you begin to set aside the time anyway, usually because it has been recommended to you, or you read it in a book, that this would help your spiritual growth process! So, it often begins as a duty, a new habit to form, and it seems all work and bother ,with little benefit to start out with. There may even be several “false starts”, as in the development of any new habit.

However, as you persist there begins to be a comfort in the quietness, a soothing in the sameness. And you find , surprisingly, that thoughts occur to you which hadn't before, pleasant, positive thoughts, which replaced the list of worries that you brought in to “roll off” on “Him”. Then, slowly, you begin to realize that the effect is the same as visiting with a trusted friend, one who is older, wiser, perhaps. And you begin to derive benefit, though you still can't honestly swear that you are “hearing God”. But something inexplicable is taking place.

We tend to think so much of ourselves that, in the beginning, we usually attribute this  progress to the powers of our own wonderful brain, that “just needed to get quiet, so it could figure things out!”.  Until one day, when a great crisis of faith arises, and we find ourselves at the end of that proverbial rope, and greatly tempted to hang ourselves with it! We then run into our "quiet place", fall down in frustration, and cry until we are empty of tears, and all becomes deathly quiet, except for our own sniffles.  Then, suddenly there is this still small voice. Not audible with our tangible ear, but coming from deep within us. And a comfort, that we never thought possible, begins to allay our fears, calm our tempestuous thoughts, and soothe our broken hearts. And we know, without a doubt, that it was not our own brilliance this time! We begin to recognize His aroma, His “trademark”, His lovely Presence. And after that, we as seekers, are hooked!

For myself, I know that He is there, and that He will discourse with us if we can get quiet enough to perceive Him. I can not sufficiently, scientifically explain it, anymore than we can explain “The Brown Mountain Light” legend, and other occurrences that dangle just beyond the tangible reach of scientific observation.

However, I have this testimony, that I was once broken beyond repair emotionally, which greatly hindered the working of a higher IQ, (to the point of frequent dissociation resulting in multiple personality disorder - including three distinct personae). Yet now I am functional (and that those symptoms of the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder begin to subside, “coincidentally”, when I received what is known in Scriptures as the in-filling of the Spirit).

Furthermore, I once had eating disorders, now I have self-control. I was emphatically declared physically unable to have children, by two separate physicians, (due to the scar tissue of early childhood sexual abuse) yet I have seven miracles! Which were all born naturally with little “help” from  medical personnel, in fact, three were born at home! By all known standards they should be highly dysfunctional, because I was struggling to overcome great dysfunction while raising them. Yet they are wonderfully well adjusted! They are humans, of course, with the general flaws as such, but well adjusted humans!

I have seen accidents that were potentially fatal be resolved to a mere “headache”, and 3^rd degree burns vanish before my eyes, and healing come to those who had been given up for dead by more than one physician. Can I scientifically explain all of that? Nope. But it does not change the fact that these occurrences have taken place.

And because I have learned to hear, and to trust that still small voice, I can explain them, just not to scientific satisfaction! I know that God is intricately involved with the infinitesimally small workings of my life. I just know. It was a journey, not magic, it took me years, not minutes, but still I know. I will never know, or be able to imagine, “why”. Why He would give us the time of day, much less take time to impart His wisdom, comfort, healing, etc. to us upon request, but I am unshakable in knowing that He does. 

There was a time in my life when I would have been greatly bothered by the fact that I can not fully understand or explain everything. I always thought I had to be able to logically factor out everything according to the five-senses, to have all the answers. But I have given that up, it was a great burden to bear. I find the faith of a child to be much more exciting anyway.

Had I not discovered the wonder of God's presence before I had children, (in which case I would likely not have had any, but even so) watching the miracle of birth, even as friends had children, brought a positive knowing that something greater than science is at work here! I had the same sensation the first time I saw the ocean, at 21 years old. I get that same "knowing" when I gaze at the stars, or look over a mountain peak ablaze with Autumn beauty! Or when I read the inspirational poetry or prose of the classic writers; or take in marvelous artistic talent, or even ponder scientific wonders and discoveries! To me, nature does declare His Glory!

And the progression continues. People that know the workings of my life have marveled that I "get up so early to make time for devotions”. Yet, what they have not realized is that it is the devotion that gets me up! I don't “do devotions”, I am merely devoted! There is a large difference. Only an idiot would get up at the crack of dawn to perform an empty religious duties, in my opinion.

Still to each his own, but I have not found it empty. I have found it full of life for me, time and again. It is truly like manna for the soul, nourishment , needed so that I can keep a positive perspective on things. Is it a “crutch” then? Perhaps. But it beats substance abuse or high psychiatric bills! It beats chronic depression or schizophrenic mood swings. It beats empty religious obsession or even scientific observation. It beats a lot of other options, that people use for crutches – consciously or not.

I have found it well worth the investment of time. No amount of sleep can make up for it, but it has often made up for vast amounts of lost sleep! I do not know where this journey into His presence will take me, but the learning continues, as the daily visits, with Him who is Worthy of devotion, have become an irreplaceable, invaluable part of my existence. I highly recommend it.

~ Selah