Holy Matrimony, Batman!

Thoughts on Legitimate Intimacy

Legitmate intimacy. That terminology just popped into my mind as I began typing. It is not a new concept, but I don't think I have ever heard it put quite that way before. It is thousands of years old, in fact. The Torah Elohim (The Word of God) is full of what constitutes real intimacy that God will bless.

Of course, in the universe in which I choose to live, God's blessing is what determines whether something is “legit” or not! That which engenders His judgment is therefore to be avoided at all costs! Apparently, however, that is not as simple as it sounds, nor as well taught as it should be!

That being said I want to take a few moments to explore the wide world of marital intimacy, also known as “sex”. Sex has become such a cheapened word, which can mean anything from “making out” to “hooking Up”. Wow. Such romantic and appealing terms! This act of intercourse has gone from a spiritual mystery in which two people become one entity in God, while exemplifying massively intense eternal mysteries - to sounding more like a tow truck dragging something off. And unfortunately that analogy is entirely to close for comfort! The way most people go at it there will be significant wreckage before it is all over!

As tedious and irrelevant as this concept has become in today's idea of personal “freedom”, I must reiterate that ALL parts of the sexual act, from kissing to consumation, is to be reserved for the marriage bed! No ifs, ands, buts, or exchanges!! That is, you don't get to milk the cow, or play with the sausage, until you legally own the beast! Don't do it! There are myriad curses on disobedience – that is ignoring God's boundaries - and none more-so than on these intimate relationships! God considers breeching this boundary to be both usury and defrauding one another! And though the curses for these crimes against holiness may be a long time manifesting, they are a recipe for utter misery and disaster down the road – usually “til divorce do us part”.

I have listened to so many bitter wives who struggled to trust, respect and love their husbands because those things were slain and consumed in the fires of lust! They wanted to, but he was not a faithful, trustworthy man – he was a horny jiggalo, so no real trust was possible! And what is worse is that the church judged her harshly and condemned her for not being “fully submissive”! Oy! And I've also seen this scenario many times - she was a hot little seductress, and now she is surprised that her husband is jealous and insecure and a little too “protective” (read possessive)! He “bought the cow”, but can never be sure all the milk is for himself alone! Often I have encountered both in the same marriage! Talk about misery! Real intimacy and unity have got all the chance of a snow-ball in hell! Their only hope is that they can give the thing over to God for the ultimate “make-over”, a.k.a. “Transformation” - He alone can redeem that mess, and restore the victims of that kind of train wreck!

Self-Control and purity (also known as “Goodness” or “Holiness”) are in the list of “Fruit of the Spirit”, that which is worked into us by His Spirit, that God-like Character which is inborn in us at the New Birth, or “Salvation”. This Fruit, and the character traits which are described by it, are qualities that must be found in people in order for them to qualify as people of God! Yes. There are expectations in this deal! People who are led around by their, um, hormones, often fail to qualify!

Oh yes! They may indeed have been “saved” at one time, and they may indeed have “decided” to “accept Christ as their Savior”! However, if this area has not been brought into obedience to His Word, and under the control of His Spirit, then clearly they have not decided to let Him be “LORD” yet. And as the saying goes, “If He is not LORD OF ALL, then He is not LORD AT ALL.” It is that simple. It IS of course an ongoing process, but there should be visible progress eventually!

We should not go on allowing ourselves to be deceived on this subject. Sin is sin, is sin. Simply calling it something else will not change its nature. And sexual sin offends God more than anything else. It is a subtle form of murder. It plays with life in so many ways, and it wrecks His perfect object lesson of eternal bliss and ultimate unity! He hates it, and He always arrays Himself for battle against the offenders! That is a frightening concept. And we have the gall to grouse because America has come under judgment! When even pastors and spiritual leaders can't keep their eyes in their heads, and their junk in their trunk – what the heck should we expect?!

Listen men of God - It is time you stopped sucking your thumbs about “not getting your needs met” and grow a spine, and produce the Fruit of the Spirit instead of the deeds of the sorry spoiled flesh (Gal. 5)! And Women of God – It is time you stopped dressing and acting like a bunch of prime time harlots and began to reflect the Holiness to which you were called! Yeshua did not command us to go out and seduce the nations! He commanded us to preach and operate in His anointing – which He is never going to pour into impure vessels, by the way!

It is high time that the people of God regained their dignity, their purity and their unity! It is high time we stopped merely prating about the Fruit of the Spirit and actually cooperated with the production of it in our character (which will mean letting the fleshly man die – with his lusts, addictions and low-life preferences and habits)! It is time we became a people of prayer, a people of purity, and a people of productivity! It is time we stopped spreading strife, and spread His Life! It is time we took sex back from the domain of the devil and learned what Holy Matrimony looks and feels like! It is time we went back to saving the honey moon for AFTER marriage!! It is time we stopped using marriage as a camouflage for our lust issues, and learned to trust and obey God!

It is time for those who preach His Word to stop prevaricating around bushes trying to be “relevant” and became good Shepherds and righteous Stewards of the manifold grace of God once again! It is time they returned to teaching God's people how to once again be REVERENT toward His boundaries, instructions and commands – instead of sugar-coating sin, and coddling rebellion to insure their income! It is time we learned the difference between the bad news of religion and the Good News of the Anointing – which is the only thing that can break the yoke of sexual sin and restore whiteness to that very stained garment!

And it is time we took intimacy off the screens and back into the private chambers where it was meant to be! We were never meant to be stalkers, and participate in voyeurism! We were never meant to waste our time on near pornographic slop, which desensitizes us to the deeper value of intimate arousal, and makes us thick, selfish and grasping sluts! We were never meant to touch and fondle everyone we date or court. There are some things which were NOT meant to be “tried on for size”! There are some things which are supposed to be left up to God to insure a “perfect fit”! He is the only ONE who knows us that well!

Just as the literal sacrifices are gone, because Messiah paid that debt once and for all, we are now led by His Spirit on the things which concern our lives. No longer do our parents pick out our mates for us (although – statistically speaking, where marriage is concerned that system was far more effective so far....) but our heavenly Father will direct us if we give Him a chance! But we MUST be teachable enough to grasp this truth – that we can not sow to the flesh and reap to the spirit! That will never, can never, work!

So – whatever it is that has wedged itself between you and God, whatever is messing with your “fruit” or purity, I urge you to get that fixed before you ever go near any real relationship! A real relationship - which must be based on real Love, and real intimacy - requires two whole real people! Otherwise it becomes an exercise in futility! Like two ticks and no dog – people just suck each other flat! And then they give up and go find someone else to do the same thing with! Hence the divorce statistics in our nation!

And in the fallen human condition it can't work any other way! Marriage was God's invention! He wrote the manual on it! His Spirit is the best marriage counselor there is! As one who was badly damaged, and yet still managed to follow the Spirit of God on some level, I can say that marriage can not work without God having the part of the “dog” in that analogy, from which the two “ticks” find sustenance! It is foredoomed to failure otherwise! We'd have never made it through 31 and ¾ years of life-threatening storms without Him! Ultimately our damage – which was considerably worse that most - did not win; our faith in Him – which was also considerably stronger than most – did! (Contrary to popular opinion, but the proof is in the pudding, as they say) That is why it is written, that there is HOPE in the LORD. Because it is true!

So for those of you out there who are already married, but the “good feeling is gone” or you are SO “not having fun yet”, you need to check to be sure that you haven't got this “sex” thing above God. He doesn't bless that. It is sort of like wiring an engine, if you get the order right the thing will run smoothly – but if something is out of line its going to be a bumpy ride! If you haven't dealt with lust issues, then do it! It is never too late! Don't procrastinate another minute. This can mean the difference between living in heaven on earth or your own private corner of hell! Nothing sucks worse than a dysfunctional marriage! But we don't have to live like that!

If you are single, contemplating marriage, then first of all get whole in God! Seek Him with ALL of your heart, soul, mind and strength! Make Him the be-all-to-end-all! Because, we tend to be drawn to those who are spiritually where we hang out! If we hang out in heathen-ville and sin-city for more than half of our existence then guess who, or what, will be attracted to us?!

In order to have a God approved and supported marriage one must first BE a God approved and supported person, and marry someone who is God a approved and supported person! That is NOT rocket science! But how many are totally missing that! His real people exist IN HIM! So if you want a Godly mate that is where you have to shop!

It is time that God's people stopped flirting around with sin and got with the program! Otherwise, just go ahead and prepare to stubbornly enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season, and then reap its ratchety curses for the rest of your miserable lives! As always, the choice is up to us. All you “pro-choicers” out there, it is time to put your money where your mouth is - “Choose you this day whom you will serve!”

It will not only mean the difference between life and death, it will mean the difference between Holy Matrimony in your own piece of heaven, as opposed to an unholy torture in your own little hell on earth! It is time for God's people to stop defrauding one another and practice legitmate intimacy only. Like furniture bought on credit, premature sex costs way too much and is worn out before it is paid for! Go where the good stuff is – in God! Why settle for less than the best? There is such a thing as Holy Matrimony, and heavenly sex, but it is reserved for the real people of God only – Flesh pots and Defrauders need not apply!

Selah

SCD 9/28/14