An Open Letter to My "Prototypes"

To all the women who have been my friends over the years, and especially those to whom I have attempted to disciple, mentor, or give any Godly counsel, for various issues (whether family or spiritually oriented issues), you know who you are - I am truly sorry for any emotional injury, or spiritual misguidance, or impatience, or avoidance I exercised toward you.

I use the word “prototype, because my first born refers to himself as our “prototype”, because, being the first born we had to “practice” our parenting skills on him! Lol In that way you guys were “prototypes” for my ministry, as some of the first people who attempted to “follow me as I followed Christ”. As I stumbled in His direction, with y'all clinging to my coattails for dear life!

I meant well. I did. But, as we all know, mere intentions are not all that is needed on the path to glory! It is said, in fact, that the road paved with those generally leads in the other direction, as the quote goes, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions!”.

I had a vision of what needed to happen in our lives, but had not yet had the healing, the tempering, the transformation, etc., which was so badly needed to accomplish that vision. So I often responded in the religious flesh, which was messing with my paradigms in those days. And I often failed in having the fruit that is necessary to do anything for God.

Patience has always been a Spirit-Only quality for me. My flesh got here bearing NONE of that quality. So if I was having a Spirit-challenged day, then there just wasn't usually enough of that excellent fruit to go around! So please forgive me if I was harsh to you. If I cut you off, or ran you off, or pissed you off! Please forgive the areas where I was, or am, too rough around the edges for you.

I have been coming to a realization in recent days, that the prophetic gift makes any kind of mentoring or pastoring a bit more challenging than some other gifts of spiritual operation. My tendency to shoot arrows of sharp, penetrating TRUTH into every situation needs extreme skill, accuracy and then the ability to apply the healing salves of mercy and grace to the ones who are “hit”. I haven't always had that balance down! Lol But I don't have to tell YOU that!

I felt led to write this, not to degrade myself, but to let you know that The Spirit of God has brought (is bringing) me to a place of utter reality regarding my calling, and my progress on that. And has alerted me to some of my weaker areas, so that He can now strengthen them, because He is just good like that.

I am still a straight shooter. I am getting better at hitting the target, and at helping heal any wounds that result. But, after all, TRUTH IS THE POINT, we can not possibly fulfill the Great Commission without it! But, we are to speak Truth in LOVE, and I am learning to administer that more in The Spirit, because, as Yeshua points out, The Father is looking for those who will worship HIM In Spirit AND Truth.

The Spirit is also teaching me that ALL the GIFTS of The Spirit are also acts of worship. One of the best ways to give Him glory is to serve His people in love and grace! So He is perfecting that art in anyone who will give Him their full attention. He will perfect even our intention. So that our “paths” go in the right direction.

So, again, If I have offended you in the past, or even recently, with any lack of His Character in me, I humbly, sincerely, ask your forgiveness, and prayer. And I will be praying for each of you as The Spirit leads.

God is doing new things, moving me on to new territory. Giving this whole region a break from Sandra Duncan, lol, while giving me a chance to rest, recalibrate, and be RESET to all HIS settings, in an unfamiliar place. Sometimes familiarity enables old patterns, and this is a season of New Beginnings. So truly, pray for me as I launch out on this new quest. And I will continue to pray for you all, as we all go "Further Up and Further In"! For HIS GLORY! 

Much Love, in Yeshua Our Anointed Rabbi,

Sandra Carlton Duncan

March 7th, 2021