How Our Journey (as Man & Wife) Began
On this day in 1983 a very nervous Gene Duncan called me and Judith Michael, a friend and mentor into a room (so as to be appropriate and accountable), and declared that God had been adjusting his decision to be “Single for God”; and had indicated that I was “The One” to whom he should join himself.
Yes it was that formal. But hey. He HAD been practicing his profound singleness for some time and this was awkward. Especially since he did not know that God had told ME this already, the first time I had ever saw him, in Autumn of 1978!
Yes. It is true. I was newly Spirit-Baptized and unused to hearing God so clearly. But I had heard Him say to stop dating, so He could HEAL me. And then a few weeks later, at a coffee house, He dropped that little bomb on me – that This guy was “The ONE”. And I nearly spit coke across the room!
BUT, since that time, God had FIRMLY blocked all other roads for ME, but the one that led to Georgia, where Gene and the Michaels were living and working at the time. And THAT was the ONLY reason I was there. Waiting.
I accepted his proposal, to his surprise, with a sigh of relief . I was SO relieved to finally hear what I had been waiting for! Relieved to know that it was TRUE – and that I was not just some insane stalker girl! I HAD actually heard GOD way back then.
We set a date, and on that date went to the Justice of the Peace and got married. We had asked our pastor, but he thought we were insane, so he wouldn't perform the ceremony! Lol
Well. In his defense, what he had witnessed between us was a “working relationship” ONLY. We did lots of ministry together. We had a band that played/ministered in prisons, teen challenge, street ministry, etc., but we didn't “hang out” or anything. It was strictly Kingdom business! So he thought we'd both fallen off our rockers!
He had no way of knowing that for that last year I had been in Stone Mountain Park behind some rocks every day seeking God in tears, being sure I had heard Him correctly (when I was pretty sure that He said that Gene was the one, that I should just “Wait for it”)! I had already stopped dating, at His express order, so that He could “Heal” me. I had NO idea just how deep that four letter word would be.
So here I was, having moved from NC to GA because I was obediently, if not patiently, waiting on HIM to arrange this marriage. I had told no one but our mentor/friend. Who listened as patiently as possible, but honestly believed I was just making up stuff. She was trying to get me delivered of my “fixation”! Lol. So she had said nothing to anyone. She hadn't even told her husband Jerry because she thought I was bats. So she was the only one surprised that day. I was, as I said, simply relieved. And also inwardly, quietly, over joyed. Because I had, over time, fallen head over heels in love with the guy.
But I need to specify something on that. I was NOT in love with the guy everyone knew, but with the ONE that was hiding down inside there. The one that GOD had given me inside intel on. The guy who was imprisoned in strongholds of fleshly self-defense mechanisms, which most often came out as PRIDE. Ugh. So this was a spiritual thing. Not a flesh deal. My flesh had indeed been surrendered to The Spirit of God, and was being crucified with The Anointed Yeshua! So one of the first things I was “healed” of, was an out of control love/hate relationship with sexual pleasure, that always caused torment. Hence the love/hate issue. So by the time God clued Gene in, I had become a pure vessel. And got married with a clear conscience. One month and four days after he proposed.
As a result of this newly established purity we didn't rush off to a “honeymoon”, we began a courtship which led to a honeymoon, some months later. Which is what our poor pastor was trying to accomplish! But we just want to take our vows before we began seeing each other in a romantic way. We all had the same goals, just saw a different path to those goals.
Four years into our marriage God opened my womb. It had been shut by abuse. Scarring from way too many encounters, from infancy on, and a particular session that involved some pretty hot water being inserted with a turkey baster by my mother, while the latest “customer” held me down at the age of nine. Ugh. All that “business” (which it was for my mom, she sort of pimped me out) had pretty much rendered it inaccessible. But all of that had been suppressed and came out in a healing room about 30 years later. As I said, the word “HEALED” had many significant meanings! I am SO glad that I OBEYED INSTANTLY!
God kept my womb opened until all the children HE wanted here were born, and then closed it, as suddenly and completely as He opened it. I had one miscarriage, but we had seven healthy children, four daughters and three sons. So God definitely BLESSED our union, by His definition! LIFE is the first on the list of what blessing looks like. And we have been blessed in so many ways.
I continue to believe and declare that we will continue to grow in this God ordained UNION, and achieve ALL that GOD meant when he prophesied to Gene, “You will be able to do more for ME together than separately”. Yes. The Seven wonderful people were just a beginning. Looking forward to the next season. Leaving the “empty nest” behind, and forging out into the harvest I suspect. But I can't wait to see what God does next with these two crazy people!
Last week, while I was buried up to my neck in a much needed household project (getting rid of stuff and making peace of what is left...) The Spirit dropped this song in my being, and I had to just stop and write it down. I think He gave it to me to celebrate the anniversary of our proposal. So I made a rough recording and sent it to Gene this morning on his phone (since I was up in my prayer closet before him this morning).
God's love is not able to be conquered by the flesh, the world or the devil. It is eternal. It will always be. Sadly, in some marriages, it isn't always submitted to. But if one cooperates, HIS LOVE, with which HE joins those who take vows in HIS PRESENCE, can not be conquered, vanquished or dissolved. This is just a small proof of that reality, that I am sharing today ….
Fallin' In Love
Fallin', Fallin' in Love, Ever since that Great Matchmaker up above,
With a twinkle in His eye, said to me, “That's the guy!”
with just a glimpse of what you were made of.
Fallin', Fallin' for you, Every single day, babe, yes, it's really true.
Since Autumn of '78, it's been awful, it's been great,
But a love that grows & lasts has seen us through!
Fallin', Fallin' everyday – through Sunshine or rain, Clouds that think they've come to stay,
No gloom is thick enough, to down a love this tough,
So this love can never fade away!
So through laughter and through tears, of 38 crazy, married years,
And as we struggle on from here, there's no reason, love, to fear,
Because each and every day, in every kind of way …...
I'm just fallin', fallin' in love.....Fallin', fallin' in Love!