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April 26 2015 1 26 /04 /April /2015 22:12

“Real Parenting”, (a.k.a., “Stewardship”) vs. “Just Having Kids”

(The stars * and numbers throughout this writing means, Please see my footnotes at the end for the scriptures which support the principles which I am using to make my points. Because – as a favorite childhood T.V. Host was famous for saying - “You don't have to take my word for it!” Or, more importantly, as the scripture puts it, in I Jn. 4:1; “Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.”)

We've all heard the apt analogy that “Going to Church does not make one a Christian, anymore than standing in the Garage makes one a Car!” And that is true. There are masses of merely religious, thoroughly deceived, people out there who go to Church every time the door opens, and yet have no clue as to what the Scripture says, or how to rightly apply it to their lives! They are sadly, visibly lacking in the “Fruit”, or results, which this religious practice, or spiritual discipline, is supposed to bear forth in their lives.

In other words, their lives bear little evidence of their confessed or stated belief structures. There is little in their daily practice, in fact, which actually separates them from the lives of the non-religious ones in their acquaintance. In fact, it has been much observed that the average non-religious person tends to be more accepting or loving than the average Church goer. And that is just plain WRONG!

But that is not what I am here to discuss, though it must, of necessity, have a bearing on what I DO want to discuss – which is the proper patterns, motivation, and results, of parenting, or “raising” , or stewarding children for God.

In the same way that the above analogy is obviously true, it applies equally to the situation of “having kids”. What I am saying is that it has become glaringly obvious that, “Having kids does NOT make anyone a “PARENT”! And I think this fact of reality is tragically, and epically evident in the way that the family has eroded in recent decades, leaving gaping, rotting holes in the once (almost) solid fabric of American society. (In my opinion that “fabric” has had gaps from the get-go, due to the embracing of much European Doctrinal error, but never was that fact more evident than it is today!)

Anyone who has read my writing knows by now that I attribute most of the responsibility for this tragedy to the religious systems of our land. This is due to my observation, and resulting belief, that these institutions have taken much more than they've given. And that what they have “given” has been bogus at best, and downright destructive at worst! They have, by and large, lulled the American people into a deception of an easy “Grace”, which ignores, or even dares to condemn God's righteous standards! I am frequently astounded at the means to which people will go to avoid “legalism to the Jewish Law”, while simultaneously walking into a complicated web of religious, and idolatrous bondage, that is easily ten times over more evil than that which they were seeking to avoid!

This Pseudo-Pharisaical/ now Idolatry-profaned mixture has even sought to replace God's solid foundations with rickety doctrinal man-inspired materials, mixed with unhealthy doses of rampant heathenism - which are (not coincidentally I think) clearly forbidden by God! And that travesty is performed in the Name of the Messiah which God sent! Talk about adding insult to injury! Hence the Epic Fail of the “Christian” Religion, which has managed to bring about the fragmentation of God's systems – breaking down first the worship of God, seeking to divide “Spirit” from “Truth”, and the family next – through the usurping of the authority of the individual, and the parental structure, and then of society as a whole – since culture has replaced God's standard in the deciding factor of what men will let motivate them! What is being missed is that it could not produce anything else. Flawed is flawed, poison is poison and evil is evil.

As I have also noted, following Yeshua was supposed to be an adjustment to following the Torah – never was it meant as some kind of “replacement” for it! The Torah, which He followed and taught, was His standard, and it should have become ours as well! There should have been merely a slight adjustment from “the Letter of the Law” to the Loving, God inspired “heart” of it! Following The Anointed One was NEVER SUPPOSED TO PRODUCE JUST ANOTHER RELIGION! (Yes. You will be hearing that a lot from me.) And as it has been written, “Let him who has ears to hear, hear what the Ruach is saying to the Church.” But what has this to do with family and parenting? Everything!!!!!!

God is the ONE who instituted Family! He is the One who invented Parenting! He is the One who laid down the laws of Stewardship – of everything - from how you use your land, to how you treat those who work for you, to how you treat your property, etc. But His main thrust has always been how you treat your spouse, and how the two of you then raise the offspring with which He has blessed you! And all the other realms of society were meant to have sprung from, and revolved around, that institution! Family.

Worship was to emanate from the family table at Shabbot, and His other instituted Moedim, or Appointed Times. Those times were to have provided the prophetic calendar, illustrating the “types & shadows” of things to come, drawing attention to the things which He has already done, and celebrating His sovereignty over His creation, in the midst of the chaos of sin. They were to have been His teaching tools, His “manipulatives”, if you will. A hands on, show and tell, way of showing us His plan.

Firstly, He meant that married couples, who claim affiliation with Him, would consider their offspring to be THE FIRST, and best, sign of His blessing on their lives – and next He wanted those instructions to guide just how those so gifted would in turn guide or steward those blessings, preferably into a relationship with Him, the Creator! I think a thorough reading of Scripture would indicate that we are not supposed to be churning out worldly flesh pots with no discernment, or zero standards by which to guide their lives! Nor are we to be churning out churlish, judgmental religious idiots who are so bound by worthless, lifeless rules that they wouldn't know Truth if He knocked on their doors! Trying to serve Him with no joy, no love, and no respect for God, themselves or others! That is NOT in the “job description”! (*1.)

But I think that, if we take these truths seriously, one can see that “Parenting” does not just happen! Anymore than true, lasting Love just happens! It takes work, dedication, and, to achieve the most ideal results, God's help is a vital necessity! But we can not run from His help and run to it at the same time. And it is exactly that kind of duplicitous behavior, “double-mindedness” is the term used in the KJV version of James 1:7 (*2.) which is the single-most reason that most American Christians look like a pack of yo-yos!

Parenting requires ALL the “Fruit of the Spirit” listed in Galatians, chapter five! We must have love, first and foremost – from which all the other “fruit” seems to emanate! It would seem that Love is the Branch, and the other traits are the “fruit” which that Love produces, the way I read it! It is clearly stated that we must love others “as or above” ourselves, which implies we must first love ourselves from a grateful, balanced, humble perspective! That definitely requires the help of God's Spirit in our lives!

Yeshua called that “The Great Commandment” - the “Torah Ha Gadol”! It is the pivotal point of all the Torah! In fact, He stated that if one kept that point that one would have accomplished all the Torah! He meant that that one standard, properly kept, would intrinsically influence all other decisions and motivations by which we act – and therefore we would not act outside of His law toward anyone. We would never let our own desires, or lusts, or addictions, for example, cause us to use anyone's feelings for us lightly. Therefore we would never be guilty of “defrauding our brother” or our lover, or anyone else! (*3.)

So according to Yeshua, the entire Torah is based on being transformed by our simple obedience to the LOVE of GOD. My question then is, W.T.F.? Why The Fear? Ha. Sorry, gotcha! But in today's slang the other question works too, if not as clearly. The question is, what part of that “Law of LOVE” should we fear as “Legalism”? What part of Love requires the wrong kind of servitude from others, or puts people into religious bondage? None of it! Only the typically peddled, false, man-u-factured brand of common, westernized, institutionalized, RELIGION produces that kind of religious bondage!

Yet Yeshua came to illuminate the Torah to us! To “Be about His Father's business”, which for hundreds of years before He came was expressed purely, solely, in TORAH! How then can we expect to live, love or parent our brood without it!

If I have made mistakes in my parenting, it has been largely due to my own stupidity, in overly regarding the selective stupidity of those in realms of “spiritual leadership”! (Which, by the way, neglected to inform me on these Scriptural truths, and realities!) It was largely due to the fact that I dumbly trusted their word for it, their opinion that I was “on the right track, because I would sometimes blindly submit to their ideas of what the Word said!” We are plainly told to “Try every spirit to see if it is of God”, which I quoted in my opening remarks. Yet not being skilled or instructed in that so much, I instead merely did as I was told - which was what submission was said to look like in that doctrinal spider's web!

So, instead of trusting my own gut instinct, and obviously more advanced, more developed, reading/comprehension skills - I bought into their well-crafted deception that they knew more than I did, that somehow God had imparted to them more wisdom due to their “position”! Which – in fairness to them - should have been true, and sometimes, in some instances was true! But it was not all there was, and eventually I grew up spiritually! “In spite of”, or “because of”, is probably an equal tally – and eventually I learned discernment by the Spirit, and escaped that intellectual and spiritual bondage to doctrinal error.

Now, all of that is “water under the damn” so to speak. Some of it is very dirty religious “bath water” that I have have thrown out, while being careful to try and preserve the “baby” which was contained therein! For as we know, all Deception is based on a nugget of truth.

So, to get to the point, what is necessary to “parent” correctly, “steward” correctly, pray correctly, or do anything correctly is to “mine the nuggets” of what God actually said, out of the piles of erroneous doctrines that men have added to it out of fear, pride or delusion! And for the sake of this writing - “Correctness” is determined by God's opinion, not our own – most certainly not the evil politically Or religiously divisive mess that currently drives most social opinion one way or the other these days! Parenting MUST be done in Spirit and in Truth, just as anything else which has to do with obedience to His Law (Instruction) of LOVE.

Flesh makes a sorry disciple, a sorry follower, a sorry lover, and a sorry parent! Flesh is marked for execution for a reason! We dare not attempt any spiritual conquest while still under its decrepit sway! We must become people who hear the voice of their Shepherd, and who have died to the cowardly flesh that would prevent us from following Him! We must as it says in Romans 12, refuse to be “...conformed...” to the varying cultures of our godless world (or the cultures which worship false gods), and instead do what it takes to “be transformed by the entire renewing of our minds!” (*4.)

That is real parenting, as opposed to simply spawning offspring. The worldly ones may not have a choice, but His people do, if we will but exercise it. In these times of immense uncertainty we can be certain of a few things, one of them is that one day soon we will stand before God to give an account of how we handled that choice!

Shalom Chavarim!

SCD 4/26/15

Footnotes:

* 1. Treasury of Scripture

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

train up a child

Genesis 18:19 For I know him, that he will command his children and his household …

Deuteronomy 4:9 Only take heed to yourself, and keep your soul diligently, lest you …

Deuteronomy 6:7 And you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk …

Psalm 78:3-6 Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us…

Ephesians 6:4 And, you fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them …

2 Timothy 3:15 And that from a child you have known the holy scriptures…

the way

1 Samuel 1:28 Therefore also I have lent him to the LORD; as long as he lives he …

1 Samuel 2:26 And the child Samuel grew on, and was in favor both with the LORD, …

1 Samuel 12:2,3 And now, behold, the king walks before you: and I am old and gray

*2. Treasury of Scripture: “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.”

James 4:8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, …

1 Kings 18:21 And Elijah came to all the people, and said, How long halt you between …

2 Kings 17:33,41 They feared the LORD, and served their own gods, after the manner …

Isaiah 29:13 Why the Lord said, For as much as this people draw near me with their …

Hosea 7:8-11 Ephraim, he has mixed himself among the people; Ephraim is a cake not turned…

Hosea 10:2 Their heart is divided; now shall they be found faulty: he shall …

Matthew 6:22,24 The light of the body is the eye: if therefore your eye be single, …

2 Peter 2:14 Having eyes full of adultery, and that cannot cease from sin; beguiling …

2 Peter 3:16 As also in all his letters, speaking in them of these things; in …


*3. Leviticus 19:13 You shall not defraud your neighbor, neither rob him…

Matthew 7:12 Therefore all things whatever you would that men should do to you, …

Matthew 19:18,19 He said to him, Which? Jesus said, You shall do no murder, You shall …

Matthew 22:39 And the second is like to it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Luke 10:27,36,37 And he answering said, You shall love the Lord your God with all …

Romans 13:8,9 Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loves …

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Charity suffers long, and is kind; charity envies not; charity braggs …

Galatians 5:14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; You shall …

James 2:8-13 If you fulfill the royal law according to the scripture, You shall …

1 John 3:17-19 But whoever has this world's good, and sees his brother have need, …

1 John 4:7,8,21 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every on

*4. 1Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. 2And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. 3For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.…

Treasury of Scripture

And be not conformed to this world: but be you transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Be not:

Exodus 23:2 You shall not follow a multitude to do evil; neither shall you speak …

Leviticus 18:29,30 For whoever shall commit any of these abominations, even the souls …

Deuteronomy 18:9-14 When you are come into the land which the LORD your God gives you, …

John 7:7 The world cannot hate you; but me it hates, because I testify of …

John 14:30 Hereafter I will not talk much with you: for the prince of this world …

John 15:19 If you were of the world, the world would love his own: but because …

John 17:14 I have given them your word; and the world has hated them, because …

1 Corinthians 3:19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, …

2 Corinthians 4:4 In whom the god of this world has blinded the minds of them which …

2 Corinthians 6:14-17 Be you not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship …

Galatians 1:4 Who gave himself for our sins, that he might deliver us from this …

Ephesians 2:2 Wherein in time past you walked according to the course of this world, …

Ephesians 4:17-20 This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you from now …

James 1:27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To …

James 4:4 You adulterers and adulteresses, know you not that the friendship …

1 Peter 1:14,18 As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the …

1 Peter 4:2 That he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh to …

2 Peter 1:4 Whereby are given to us exceeding great and precious promises: that …

2 Peter 2:20 For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through …

1 John 2:15-17 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If …

1 John 3:13 Marvel not, my brothers, if the world hate you.

1 John 4:4,5 You are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because …

1 John 5:19 And we know that we are of God, and the whole world lies in wickedness.

Revelation 12:9 And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, …

Revelation 13:8 And all that dwell on the earth shall worship him…

be ye.

Romans 13:14 But put you on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for …

Psalm 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Ezekiel 18:31 Cast away from you all your transgressions, whereby you have transgressed; …

Ezekiel 36:26 A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within …

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things …

Ephesians 1:18 The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know …

Ephesians 4:22-24 That you put off concerning the former conversation the old man, …

Colossians 1:21,22 And you, that were sometime alienated and enemies in your mind by …

Colossians 3:10 And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after …

Titus 3:5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to …

prove.

Romans 12:1 I beseech you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, that you …

Psalm 34:8 O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusts in him.

Ephesians 5:10,17 Proving what is acceptable to the Lord…

1 Peter 2:3 If so be you have tasted that the Lord is gracious.

good.

Romans 12:1 I beseech you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, that you …

Romans 7:12,14,22 Why the law is holy, and the commandment holy, and just, and good…

Psalm 19:7-11 The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony …

Psalm 119:47,48,72,97,103,128,174 And I will delight myself in your commandments, which I have loved…

Proverbs 3:1-4 My son, forget not my law; but let your heart keep my commandments…

Proverbs 3:13-18 Happy is the man that finds wisdom, and the man that gets understanding…

Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, …

Ephesians 5:9 (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;)

Colossians 4:12 Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ, salutes you, always …

1 Thessalonians 4:3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that you should …

2 Timothy 3:16,17 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for …

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  • : SELAH Jubilee Lady Writes 4 Shalom
  • : I love to write, all about life, and what is going on in it. And about the Beloved Creator, Who sponsored it! I hope to intrigue and inspire.
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  • Sandra Carlton Duncan
  • I am a devoted follower of Yeshua, the Messiah. I have been married to Gene Duncan II for 37  years, and counting. I have 7 children, 3 boys & 4 girls - all grown up. They have been home educated, K-12. I also write, hence the blog  (including, but not limited to: children's books, poems, and personal growth art. ) Please stay tuned as I share my personal journey through poems and writing.
  • I am a devoted follower of Yeshua, the Messiah. I have been married to Gene Duncan II for 37 years, and counting. I have 7 children, 3 boys & 4 girls - all grown up. They have been home educated, K-12. I also write, hence the blog (including, but not limited to: children's books, poems, and personal growth art. ) Please stay tuned as I share my personal journey through poems and writing.

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